Dale's Blog

Decided to add this link to my blog so I would always be able to take another look at  this page when a client asks me to do something so incredibly dumb that it makes the client in this little saga look smart…. like today…

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_hell

As most friends and clients know, I have been looking for suitable full-time employment for quite some time. Recently I was requested to submit my resume to become a support rep handling telephone enquiries concerning domains and hosting, etc. What I am amazed at is how little these people get paid and it brought to mind a conversation I had with my boss when I worked at the Bank of Nova Scotia. So here goes…

He began by telling me that at one time, (and I do not know how long ago this was but I’m guessing a century or more) – when you were hired to work at a bank branch, you started in the back office. The new employee was taught about accounts, processing deposits, filing, procedures, rules, regulations – everything about how a branch was run. Only AFTER the employee had been promoted and knew everything about banking procedures was he considered qualified to work as a teller dealing with customers and handling their money. The most important person in the branch was the Head Teller. Obviously customer service was a high priority -they really wanted people to deposit their money.

I find that story fascinating considering how poorly most companies treat and pay their ‘tech support’ people now.

Naturally, because I work on web sites, I get a lot of complaints about ‘everything’ web & computers, which then extends to anything digital – camera, phones, etc. Main complaint is always poor product tech support …. makes one wonder, doesn’t it??

Well….. Google used to have Google Video ‘before’ buying YouTube. It was easy to upload and put your video code on your web site – wonderful. Now there is no more Google Video and we have to use YouTube so….. we just have to wait until Google makes YouTube just as easy to use as their own video site was. What also would be nice is real ‘help’ about uploading for those new to YouTubes. What I found for upload help was a short video similar to ‘Bob & Doug McKenzie’… ya… right…eh?

The following are real registration pricing for a conference and workshops. I’m still stuck on the $1,395 price for 1 day training – especially when most people with web sites just ‘expect’ their web sites to be at the top of the search engines. From what I can find out, these prices are not unusual nor considered expensive in the real world …. I guess the good news is everything is in Canadian dollars.

- SEO Conference & Expo features presentations, workshops, etc.
Event is open to business professionals only
- Platinum Passport $1,145 CAD $1,295 CAD
One-Day Pass $595 CAD $695 CAD
SEM Training Workshops: ½ day $795 CAD – Full day $1,395 CAD
-The Conference Hall is open to all attendees.
- Expo Only Pass Free In Advance ($50 CAD on-site)

I do not know who wrote this, but it is so well done that I thought it would be a nice addition to my blog and am copying it verbatim.

A Layman’s version of the Current Financial Crisis

“Actually this is not as funny as the person who wrote it thought it would be and not as clever as bird and fortune’s analysis of the sub prime crisisthat can be found on YouTube but does serve to explain how we got to where we are today. of course if you worked for credit lyonnais in the 80s or 90s, then you had an inkling of the basics of over lending anyway…….

The financial crisis explained in simple terms………………………..

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers – most of whom are unemployed alcoholics – to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi’s bar.

Taking advantage of her customers’ freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi’s borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager of the bank, (subsequently of course fired due his negativity), decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi’s bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.

Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.

The suppliers of Heidi’s bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

AND FINALLY!…FOR THE ICING ON THE CAKE!

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.

Finally an explanation I understand…”